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14 Jun 2002 / 5:36 p.m.
.:  shining in the western sky

last night: horrible dream! i dreamt i was in a tattoo parlor. the artist (first she was an anonymous woman, then david bowie as andy warhol - a la basquiat) was finishing a backpiece: a nagel painting. my new friend anna was there. she was making fun of it, and i was trying to defend it. i couldn't, and my mouth sealed shut. i woke up and checked my back in the mirror.

tyler cajoled me into going to a winery tonight with him and jen and some of her friends from work. i cannot even begin to describe how much this is *not* my scene. i considered worming out of it, but decided instead that i would use it as a bargaining chip later.

this afternoon: sun is shining, plants leaves follow it across the sky, the cat is rolling around on her back in a fat patch of light. i am inside listening to american music club ruining the whole thing. not really, but still. it's emotionally self-destructive to listen to that band in anything more than carfully-metered doses. i cannot listen to "western sky" anymore without my eyes tearing up - my fault. i've make it a distillation of every painful breakup and personal tragedy i could think of. it's a sponge; too bad - it's a really great song:

Time for me to go away
I'll get a new name, I'll get a new face
Time for me to go away
No I don't belong in this place

But I'm not gonna ask you why
You think the parade has passed you by
Or if everything good is gone into the western sky

I hate to see you look that way
All the beauty has left your face
That's such an easy thing to give away
That's impossible to replace

So I'll take you in my two weak hands
And I'll throw you so high
Watch you fall forever in the western sky
And when you land you'll turn into some kind of prize
Into somebody's sweet prize

I won't see you no more
Who am I to rate that high
The world's a shadow of what went before
The world gives off none of its own light

So please be happy baby
And please don't cry
Even though the parade has passed us by
Well you can still see it shining in the western sky
So why won't you stop crying
You can still see it shining

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