are out there.
14 Sep 2001 / 10:45 a.m.
everything fell out of place on tuesday. i was lucky - being from the western us. almost all of my family lives west of the mississippi, so no one close to me died in the wtc catastrophe. a handful of my friends lost people close to them. Talking to them is utterly heartbreaking. before they had news they were panicky and confused - pacing, pacing. now that the hope of finding survivors in the rubble is all but gone they've grown more quiet, and you can almost see them starting to deal with the loss inside.
for me, i have a different conflict. as a buddhist, i cannot condone violence. As a patriot (though not a jingoist) I am enraged and want justice for the dead and living. Shaku wrote a brief passage on the nature of war and buddhism - more to the point, he wrote about reconciling the two. It was a response to, and something of an explanation, of the short and almost forgotten ruso-japanese war. I need to re-read it. I need a base to work from. I feel split into fractions.
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